eight iron and clambered down the embankment in search of his lost ball.
After many long minutes of hacking at the underbrush, he spotted something
glistening in the leaves. As he drew nearer, he discovered that it was an eight
iron in the hands of a skeleton!
Joe immediately called out to his friend, "Jack, I've got trouble down here!"
"What's the matter?" Jack asked from the edge of the ravine.
"Bring me my wedge," Joe shouted. "You can't get out of here with an eight iron
.The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson.
"Is the word spelled p-u-t or p-u-t-t?'' she asked the instructor.
"P-u-t-t is correct,'' he replied.
"Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."
My five-year-old nephew wanted to caddy for my brother's
golf game. "You have to count my strokes," my brother told him. "How much is six plus nine plus eight?"
"Five," answered the nephew.
"Okay," my brother said,"let's go."
Golf can best be defined as an endless series
of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer.
Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes
right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks.
If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even during a
hurricane, here's a valuable tip: your life is in trouble.
Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot rarely make a
perfect shot.
The term 'mulligan' is really a contraction of the phrase 'maul it again.'
A 'gimme' can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers ....neither of
whom can putt very well.
An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play; it is
always possible to get worse.
Golf's a hard game to figure.. One day you'll go out and slice it and shank it,
hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and for no
reason at all you really [censored].
If your best shots are the practice swing and the 'gimme putt', you might wish
to reconsider this game.
Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you.
Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won't work, and
both are expensive.
The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.
Golf can best be defined as an endless series
of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer.
Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes
right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks.
If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even during a
hurricane, here's a valuable tip: your life is in trouble.
Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot rarely make a
perfect shot.
The term 'mulligan' is really a contraction of the phrase 'maul it again.'
A 'gimme' can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers ....neither of
whom can putt very well.
An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play; it is
always possible to get worse.
