News from the Tour

[Trapper439]

A number of unsavoury incidents at the LSPN Open Championship over the last few days have left organisers scratching their heads and promising to beef up security at future tournaments.

The large and raucous crowd was one source of the bad behaviour, throwing spectator etiquette out the window as they drunkenly abused players and officials whilst depositing no less than seven carts into the lakes around the previously pristine Southern Hills layout.

However worse was to come in the press tent.

Having boasted of his prowess and inevitable victory in the lead-up to the event, player Trapper439 blamed the rowdy crowd for his pathetic showing, highlighting in particular the presence of one spectator who appeared to be using a mobile phone as he stood almost within touching distance of 439 as he teed off on the 16th during the final round.

When legendary golf writer Eldrick Woods pointed out that Trapper439 was several dozen shots behind the leaders at the time and that perhaps he should instead be blaming his own skill, or lack thereof, for his lamentable scores 439 reacted angrily.

Telling Woods that if he knew so much about the game then perhaps he should "pick up some clubs and show us how it's done then, instead of just criticising", 439 then launched into a profanity-laden and largely incoherent rant about the lack of watercress sandwiches in his private locker room and how "when they finally did arrive they had left the (censored) crusts on" before leaping over the press conference table and brandishing a niblick at the venerated scribe.

Further unpleasantness was avoided when, to loud and sustained applause from the assembled press corps, Trapper439 was tasered into insensibility by Tour security guards.

Upon leaving the press conference Trapper439 also took a wild swing at this very journalist, who fortunately was standing in the middle of a green and therefore in no danger.

When asked about 439 and his game author Woods declined to comment, merely muttering something cryptic this reporter couldn't quite hear about "a cow" and "a banjo" before driving off in the rusty 1973 Volkswagon Beetle he had borrowed in order to cover the tournament.

Following legal advice, club chairman Hootie Blowfish was unable to comment on the presumably even worse infractions that saw several golfers disqualified and yet more abandoning the tournament altogether. However, despite the fact that the LSPN Tour is seemingly lurching from crisis to crisis Blowfish was optimistic about crowd behaviour at future Open tournaments.

"We're happy to take the money of the spectators. Nothing a bit of water-cannon won't fix", he reassured reporters.

[Bruce Bo]

hilarious!
thanks for taking the time to post the reporters article

[terrell]

i was thinking as i read this, it would be terrific if someone would do a synopsis of the week's tournaments (no, i wouldn't be good at it because 1) i don't write in an entertaining style and 2) i only play champ click, and i don't remember the last time i looked at an ammy, pro, or elite leaderboard). there have been some fantastic efforts in the past, i wish i could remember who did 'em. (8

[Westview]

Yes I remember those synopsis from the old site.
There were two guys doing them, each trying to out do the other! lol
I can't remember there names, but I do remember Roy did it for 1 week.

[Fraser]

[Hogan1956]

Yes I remember those synopsis from the old site.
There were two guys doing them, each trying to out do the other! lol
I can't remember there names, but I do remember Roy did it for 1 week.

Echoes was 1 of them

[RoyHiggi]

I think Echoes was the main man and I had one go at it.

Here goes another effort looking at this week's PLSA at Firestone seeing as I don't have time to play anything this week.

Firestone is a tough venue to start with too but at least there is little wind to make it really hard. With 2 days to go the entries have been:
Elite 10
Champ 30
Pro 137
Amateur 86

I wonder if this will be the norm for entries or will easier venues see bigger turn outs?

ELITE top of the pile , maybe not surprisingly , is an RTS player the consistent punchshot with -32 ( including 6 bogeys). 103 putts reflecting the toughness of the greens. Heading the clickers is the also very consistent T Shiu with -28. Round 3 for T Shiu being the round of the tourney and almost the round of his life as he got to -10 after 11 but then the elite gods got tough and 7 pars in a row kept the round in check at -10. 4 steady rounds also for B118C leaves Bill in 3rd place on -23.

CHAMP there he is again , T Shiu at 36 under just ahead of Deccie -35 and Wes C on -33. Rounds of -13 and -12 for T Shiuthreatened a very special event but again Firestone showed how tough it is limitingthe other 2 rounds to single figures under. 9 putts less than on elite possibly reflecting better approach accuracy or maybe that there were more chip and putts after missed greens. Stats can mean different things I guess!
BUT waiting round round 3 is the Master of champ play , Giller , on -27 after 2 rounds. Already 3 eagles and no bogeys with only 1 fairway missed which is a massive plus on Firestone. Giller's snap is clearly working well ( does it ever not?) Punchshot is also in a good position with -19 after 2 rounds and with 100% drives in the fway and even an extra 14 yards on the average drive is always a threat.

PRO IB Hackin -62
DrunkBob -61
Lapidious -57
T Shiu -56
are the leading scores so far and the special round from IBH ( -19 in round 2 ) being the reason he is at the top. Typical Firestone though as it fought back to force Steve into 6 pars in round 4! That last round gave DrunkenBob a chance at taking the lead but he missed his chance with 5 pars in a row , holes 6 to 10 , in round 4.

AMATEUR Spitdoggy -65
TCPD Records -62
RandySanta -61
COBRAS -58
lead the way at the moment as Firestone proves a tough test even at amateur level where the T shot isn't an issue which is a big part of Firestone's toughness. Round 4 again showing it's teeth as Spit had 4 pars.
HahnLight though is looing good at -52 after 3 rounds but will round 4 win the day?? And don't rule out Hittman on -50 with a round left as Rob has been hitting some special rounds recently. Also looking further back down the leaderboard is EGC Musketeer on -16 after round 2.

2 days to go but will we see much change over the weekend.

[terrell]

outstanding, roy. thanks!

special recognition: i was just perusing my leaderboards, and i was noticing modman's 4th round 66 at firestone (champ mod) has to go down as one of the greatest rounds in links history. i'm a less than average player on a good day, but i didn't play all that badly for an 87. modman typically posts good scores, but that one's particularly impressive.

[Westview]

Yes I remember those synopsis from the old site.
There were two guys doing them, each trying to out do the other! lol
I can't remember there names, but I do remember Roy did it for 1 week.

Echoes was 1 of them

Sorry Terry, it was a long time ago.
They were fun to read!

[Westview]

Good job Roy.
Brings back alot of fun memories.

[terrell]

high drama at wk1 under the radar (champ):

i've been anxiously awaiting giller's second round to see if he could catch bagobones. on cue, he posts a 56 to smoke the field by 7! now i see roy entering the fray with a 58 in round one, with giller within sight. d a m n (frelling censor bot!) you guys are good.

honorable mention:

lw finished a very respectable -12 at wk1 under the radar. topping deccie and modman is no easy task. lw's definitely on top of his game.

definitely looking forward to roy's round two. will he catch giller?

[Larry_Warrilow]

T, lw had to learn fast. he thought he could drive the 326yd 5th green in the first round with the wind behind him, but wound up in the pond scum. 2nd round: 7 iron off the tee, and a 7 iron to the green.

i'm sure glad i only had to play this track twice, because in each round i miraculously hit a perfect driver off #18 tee that split the fairway between the diagonal bunkers into a pretty narrow fairway. i made more putts in those two rounds than i could ever have paid for. let's just call it the luck of the event creator. (and (lol) i hope it lasts). i'm also playing over my head at southern hills after three rounds this week. lw

___________

[Hogan1956]

The other gentleman who dueled with me was the RTS write up done by a friend down under that i haven't seen in some time......Simon where the hell ya at!
Those were the days, but better ones are in store i'm sure, maybe something can be worked out where we write again in the next season

[Hogan1956]

Like all good golfers should be.....Ya'll got short memory's....LMRRAO

[RoyHiggi]

High quality finish from Rob the Hittman in the amateur event. As HahnLight was blowing pole position with 5 pars and 23 putts in his last round Rob flew past with a superb -20 , just 17 putts , in his last round to take over at the top by 4 clear shots. WTG Rob I said you have been having some special rounds of late and this was another.